cruise mode

I've decided to put my life on cruise mode...
last time I did this, I actually achieve more then when I'm actually working hard...

Cruise mode is where my heart shuts down... n only my brain n body works...

No more caring about others... no more conscience

Cruise mode here I Come!

Life after Tuesday

Well like I said from the last post, if monday doesn't work, then I have no choice but to change for Tuesday.... argh I'm really fed up now...
Why things always have to turn out the other way around??? Why can't it just go my way?
Now is the time I feel that I really need that special person beside me... unfortunately I lost all the special person that was close to me...
I'm sad...
I need a change... Please guide me, show me the way so that I am clearer...
Everything is so blur... I need that light on the road so I can sit on the pavement and wait for my ride...

If I'm supposed to go further then this and I'm underachieving, please show me the way..
If this is my resting period.. please tell me so that I don't have to worry...

I may not look it, but I'm on the verge of a breakdown... I'm really depressed... please someone.... Help me... I need you.

Choo Choo Train is moving without me

I feel like im on the slowest trail, while the train is leaving without me.
life is like the train tracks... the train is where I should be...
but somehow I feel like I'm moving too slow and the train has just passed me by.

why do I hate where I am now?? why can't I just move on?

I realize that I'm holding on to the past and that makes me hard to move on...
when will I move along with the train?
Soon... Monday perhaps...but what if monday doesnt happen?

then i have to change on tuesday...

Hafiz starts writing again...

It's been a while since
1. I write
2. I read
3. I show emotions

I'm not sure whether I like what I've turned into...
trying to be good
trying too hard
being too nice

and all that sums up to my feelings being compressed and never let my heart tells it's story.

I feel its really important to constantly make decisions from your heart rather than your head. That way you feel more in-touch with God. Thinking using your hear (logic) only answers for the living. Decisions have to involve your heart too, otherwise why would god give instinct?

But what about love? why such complication? when you do something right, you feel like you're doing something wrong. When you follow your heart, you might hurt someone else...

Where is the solution to love? ...maybe I should be single like my fren told me. that way I wont hurt anyone... but myself

In this situation, do I think with my head? or my heart?

yeay my first post after ages of keeping quiet